A family-law attorney who reduces conflict in a divorce: hypocrisy? Absolutely not! Here is why mediation and “settling” are great strategies.
Mediation, icky!
I think part of the reason mediation gets a bum rap is its close affiliation with mandatory arbitration clauses. Mediation and arbitration are two alternatives to a costly courtroom battle. However, their appeal (less time consuming, less expensive) is diminished by the fact that they typically are found in corporate terms and agreements, the ones you either accept or refuse, but cannot negotiate.
I once was about to see a dentist and a form was jammed into my hands about mandatory arbitration. I felt conflicted; if I did not agree to mediate or arbitrate, would I not get see my dentist? But if that dentist did something terribly wrong, had I waived my right to sue? Darn that mediation/arbitration clause!
I am sympathetic to wariness of these clauses. However, in a divorce case, there is no contract of adhesion, nor is there a forced arbitration clause. In a divorce, there are already a surprising amount of agreements in place. The former-couple agrees to separate. The same individuals also agree they wish to split up their assets. If they have children, the parents very likely agree they do not want their divorce to negatively impact their children. In spite of their separation, they already have a lot of mutual goals in common!
Wait, mediation is good?
For these potential clients, I often ask if they have considered mediation. Many clients are taken aback that I do not begin consultations with a recitation of hourly billing and the tactics I would use in court. Instead, I try to find out if the individuals have heard about the benefits of hiring a mediator. Mediation can cost considerably less than a court case. The average divorce costs $20k-50k, per person! Mediators, by contrast, may have flat-fee options for their clients between $4k-8k, shared.
Another benefit to hiring mediators is that these professionals have training in conflict-resolution and know the best tactics to use with an argumentative spouse or a reluctant parent. Mediators give each party ample time to talk and air concerns. Individuals take ownership of what the mediator helps them negotiate and prepare. I may be a minority voice in the family law industry with an unconventional style to vetting potential clients, but I am a staunch advocate for using mediation to complete a divorce.
Does AC Howard Law offer mediation?
No, I prefer instead to advise one party before, during and after their mediation. This is a wonderful strategy for a spouse who is worried their ex will gain an advantage. That spouse will meet with me before mediation to understand their obligations, and the rights they have under the law. As mediation progresses, the spouse can tell me what issues have been resolved, and which are still being argued. If the mediator successfully drafts a settlement agreement, I can review the agreement line by line to make sure no one is taking advantage of the other or hiding information.
If you or someone you know is considering divorce, think about mediation. I can recommend different mediators who may be a good fit and offer a consultation to accompany meetings with a mediator. I believe in helping my clients develop strategies to come to an agreement and (possibly) de-escalating conflicts.
